This Too Shall Pass
“Nothing endures but change.”
- Heraclitus
In the darkness of my depression, it felt impossible to imagine ever seeing light again. And yet all things, including feelings, do pass. I find great comfort in remembering that pain is temporary. Somehow, that impermanence helps give me the strength to allow myself to feel my feelings. And letting ourselves feel our feelings rather than trying to avoid them is the secret to truly letting them pass.
Not only do my negative emotions pass, I’ve learned to be grateful for them. Pain, loneliness, fear, yearning, sadness, and fatigue can give us a basis for comparison and thus for appreciating more positive emotions. Just as food tastes better when we are hungry, when we’ve struggled with going without something, we more deeply appreciate finally having it.
When I lose my sense of appreciation for what I have, I try to remember what life was like before I had those things. I think of myself as a man dying in the barren heat of the desert and imagine how much I would appreciate the first sip of water to touch my lips. This helps me maintain a deeper sense of gratitude, peace, and contentment.
I can vividly remember life at my emotional bottom. How miserable and alone I was. That memory helps me appreciate the connection and tools I now have. I can remember what it was like before I had my apartment and hated my living conditions and it helps me appreciate the home I’ve built for myself, I love how much it feels like a true reflection of my authentic self and the things that I love. I can remember when I feared how I would pay my rent and it makes me feel immense gratitude for the abundance I now feel. Or, I can simply hold my breath for a few moments and remember what a gift that next breath of air is. Perspective gives me gratitude and gratitude gives me joy.
Similarly, I can allow myself to feel my sadness knowing it will pass and give me greater appreciation for my joy. I can feel my self-doubt and appreciate my growing self-acceptance. I can feel afraid and know how proud of myself I will be when I act in spite of it. And I can let myself feel the deep pain of my emotional wounds, and compassionately love those wounded parts of myself for all they have endured.
I am not arguing that suffering is always productive. It is possible to get stuck in a negative emotion well past the point where it is a productive basis for comparison or processing. However, I am suggesting that feeling our feelings can cause us to re-examine ourselves and push us to pursue greater purpose in our lives.
If you’re struggling with an emotion, try simply sitting with it. Knowing that it will pass if you let it is a gift as precious as time itself.
Ask Yourself:
Do I think, if I let myself feel negative emotions, they might be endless or unbearable?
Is there anything that is not temporary?
What am I grateful for as a result of my past struggles?
Next Letter: Self-Sabotage